Dabbling

I tentatively dip a toe into the Water
of another way of seeing.
I catch a glimpse of Mystery, and of values other
than the ones that fuel my daily life.
“This is real,” I sense inside my soul,
“This is how things truly are.”

I remove my toe and enjoy
the lingering sensation,
then return my attention
to the conditioned habits
that keep the world in chaos:
Self-protection, self-improvement,
pursuit of comfort, avoidance of discomfort,
knee-jerk rants and fearful imaginings
that the world I know is disappearing.

An awareness is slowly dawning that:
Of course it’s disappearing!
It has to disappear!
It is fundamentally flawed
and can’t be fixed!

So much of human spirituality is like this.
We tap into the Greater World and look for something
we can bring back to make this mess a little neater.
“We have to patch things up,” we say,
“we have to save the world.”
But we might just be wrong,
despite the seeming virtue of the words.
Perhaps we’re unconsciously simply trying
to keep our assumptions going one more generation.
I’m starting to believe that the mess
must be swept away completely,
and be replaced by the really Real.
The world we think we want to build,
cannot be built by any effort on our part.
It already exists, but must be found
by new eyes and new perceptions.

Each day I’m wading in a little further
and staying there a little longer –
up to my knees on some occasions!
Visionaries are not those who reach for outer space,
or dream of castle-cities on a hill.
The vision that we need is something else,
not possible to capture in current forms or words.
I can’t describe it.
Knee-deep is not enough.
Some day, I hope – I really, truly, hope
that I will take a deep, deep breath
and dive, and swim, and there remain,
and keep the windows of perception open wide.


3 thoughts on “Dabbling”

  1. I am not sure it is a conscious choice we make. As long as we keep seeking another vision we keep ourself in division. Letting go of arriving somewhere else is freedom.
    Aside from that I hope you are safe from the fire.

    Like

  2. The fire is currently heading away from us and we are safe for now. It’s a long fire season and we have our “bug out” bags always ready.

    Like

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